good lord people... what is wrong with you? their dead, buried in the ground, gone... and good riddance. one was an excessivly annoying guy who made me want to burn down everything he tried to sell simply because his annoying voice. funny how people say they care, and yet they don't, eh? and then the other is more than just gender confused. he's mixed about his gender, and also mixed about his race, and yet you people are still going on about him. he was disgusting. he was once a hero, but he performed and unthinkable act with children. the innocense of our nation lost to the bleached hands of pedophilific celebrity... and you cry for him and praise him. today, my grandmother supported my thoughts. "good lord, people are still going on about that? he was disgusting and their making him to be the king of the world. what's wrong with these people?" and in my head i responded it's true though that he touched almost as many lives as he did little boys ... i know, respect the dead, right? but whoop-de-doo, he's gone now, so what? you didn't know him personally, and even if you did, i'm sure once you did, you'd wish you hadn't. and yet people and the news still are obsessed with their moonwalking zombie celebrity... come on people, get a life that isn't tied to the chains of celebrity's and magazines, and such.

did you know, and i only recently discovered this as well, that "once upon a time", anybody could become a model? anyone! sure, there were the thinner, but generally there were the thicker or the average, and they were and still are considdered beautiful for their time. but some bitch with an eating disorder comes along and all of a sudden in order for women to be considdered beautiful they must puke over half their body weight a day just so that they can make the limit on the scale to be put in a magazine where youth and developing minds can look at them and think that their not fit or considdered beautiful and start puking their guts out.

in case you can't tell, i'm upset about many things. too much on my mind, and the foolishness of society is driving me mad. i still can't find a job, my family still mentions me moving somewhere else with elation, my girlfriend, my love, i worry if she will ever fully trust me ever again... too much, too much. these crimson tears scream at me to release them in any way possible. it makes me considder spending loads more money in order to get more piercings, a tattoo, something, anything that can cause me to bleed a bit... but i know it isn't right. it betrays our agreement, love, and i will try not to.

got a good reason to take the easy way out now... one way ticket, yeah
~ pieces from the beatles "daytripper" song